When you are a pregnant person, one of the questions you
often are asked is “How are you doing” or “How are you feeling”. Now I realize that sometimes people truly
want to know the answer to those questions, and other times they would be fine
with a simple “I’m good” The response
you are going to get from me on this blog post will not be the short and sweet
variety, so if details aren’t your thing, then go ahead and stop reading!
Oh where to begin?
For those of you that remember, it was 23 weeks pregnant when Chris,
Wyatt and I ended up on the Labor and Delivery unit of Community Hospital and
there we stayed until 33 weeks, when I went home on bed rest until 36 weeks,
the week that Wyatt made his entrance.
Needless to say, the day that week 24 started, we took a breath because
if nothing else, we made it one day farther than we had with Wyatt before
entering the hospital. Now there were
times in there that we had to go to triage for too many contractions, bleeding,
or other reasons where we got some medicine and were sent home on our merry way
back to the comforts of our home. Not to
say that it has been easy, but it has been at least out of the confines of a
hospital.
At my 26 week ultrasound, I jokingly made a comment that I
thought I was having some pretty horrible gas pains. I was already getting an ultrasound, so my
doctor had the ultrasound tech take a look at my gall bladder, “just for
fun”. Well, luckily, my gall bladder
looked pretty good and nothing to be concerned about. My right kidney, however, was quite a bit
enlarged and fluid (urine) was backing up into my kidney and therefore not
successfully carrying the waste materials from my kidney to my bladder. I was then referred to a urologist and had
some more extensive scans run on that
Friday (a little over a week ago). At
that ultrasound they were able to rule
out any kind of kidney stone, but realized that there was very little if any
urine entering my bladder from my right side.
I saw the urologist on Monday and he informed me that the way my uterus
is growing and sitting, the uterus has blocked off/put enough pressure on my
ureter causing it to be obstructed. This
will not “fix itself” until after the baby is born. He then told me about the various medications
(pain killers) that I can take to help manage the pain (which I don’t want to
do since it will effect the baby as well) and then talked through some surgical
procedures. One option is a kidney stent
that would bypass the ureter, but he is not comfortable with that as the
complication of preterm labor is heightened.
The only option that he would suggest is a nephrostomy tube. This would be a tube that would be inserted
into my right kidney to drain the urine out of the kidney and into a bag that
would likely be attached to my leg. I
would then need to empty this bag and care for the tube for the remainder of my
pregnancy. It was decided, that at this
point, I will tolerate as much pain as possible, sit on a heating pad, take
Tylenol as needed, and hope and pray that the pain does not escalate to need to
take pain killers or require a “pee bag”.
So fast forward to Thursday.
All day Thursday, I was just feeling a little off. I felt like I could be coming down with
something, and have lots of “somethings” that seem to have been going around my
classroom, so I chalked it up to that.
It was after lunch that I noticed the contractions were picking up a
little. Now let me say, that I have a
very irritable uterus and while most woman are to call their doctor if they
have 4-6 contractions and hour, I am not to call until I have more than 8 an
hour. So I started to notice their
frequency and at about 3:00 I realized that I had about 11 during an hour, so I
called the doctor. Luckily it was the
end of the day, so my IA was able to take the kids out to their busses, but the
doctor wanted me to head to triage.
Having been there before, I figured I knew the drill. I called Chris and told him to get Wyatt from
the sitter and I would head to triage where I figured I would be monitored,
given a shot of terbutaline and then sent back home on my merry way. So I get
to triage and sure enough, I get on the monitor and my contractions are 2-3
minutes apart…. That wasn’t something the nurse wanted to see in a 27 week pregnant
patient. I was then given the
terbutaline shot and we waited for the contractions to slow because they always
do! Well, they didn’t really slow down. They just kept on happening. My doctor was not on call that evening, so
they called the on call doctor and it was determined that I would be admitted
over night for observation and monitoring and I was given an option of the god
awful “liquid fire” medication, Magnesium Sulfate, or the combination of
morphine and Phenergan, also known as a “therapeutic rest”. I thought about it for awhile and decided I
would try the therapeutic rest medicine.
I had a similar one before while I was in the hospital with Wyatt and it
seriously knocks a person out… like they had a few too many glasses of wine and
then some and even waking up with almost a hangover.
So I was moved to my “overnight” room. In the meantime, Chris was home with Wyatt, I
had called my parents and they were bringing me dinner and coming to say buy
since they were about to hit the road and go to Florida for a month. I also texted my friend Amanda who is a nurse
on the unit to see if she was working—and LUCKILY she was!! So after not laying eyes on Amanda except 1
time after Wyatt was born, I got to see Amanda.
So once I was settled into my room, ate my dinner and waiting for Amanda
to get on her shift, I was hooked up to the monitors and getting ready for my
“cocktail”. I did ask for a half dose of
the morphine because I learned before that it will knock me out and knock me
out quickly! So Amanda started to give
me the meds though my IV and I almost instantly got the giggles. I would look at my mom and giggle, look at
Amanda and giggle… I mean I had the UNCONTROLLABLE giggles! Everyone was laughing J So thankfully, the morphine allowed me to
sleep for a few hours and my contractions slowed down.
Friday morning, I was scheduled for some labs, some blood
work, another kidney ultrasound and an ultrasound of the baby J So, by the time all of that was over, it was
well into the afternoon and low and behold, the contractions were picking
up. Had another shot of terbutaline in
the morning, and then waited on the results.
I thought I might go home Friday morning/afternoon, but that wasn’t
quite the case. For good news, Baby is
measuring big and strong, everything looks great with her and her development,
I am holding steady and hanging in there for now, and on more good news, there
was a little more flow happening from my right kidney, so although it is still
obstructed, there is more fluid leaving so hopefully that is putting off more
pain for longer! WOOHOO!! All wonderful, wonderful news! Because I had to have my second round of
steroid shots for lung development and the fact that my contractions were
picking up again, they decided to keep me over night… Again. This annoyed me, but I went along with it
trying to be a good patient. And sure
enough, the contractions picked up to more than the usual 8 an hour, so I had
yet another shot of terbutaline which worked okay, but then in the middle of
the night picked back up again. So I was
fearful that I would be staying there even longer. But all worked out and I am writing this from
my living room couch. I was discharged
about 1:00 on Saturday afternoon to go home and rest. And that is what I shall do.
Sometimes I am asked how we are handling all this…. And to
be honest, it changes frequently. I have
a lot of emotions and a lot of feelings and always try to put on my
“optimistic,
happy, find the good in everything” hat, but sometimes that is just too
hard to
do. I’ve cried…a lot. I’ve been mad a lot. I’ve asked God, “Why us”
more times than I
can count. I’ve been short with
people. I get frustrated. I get angry.
I am constantly asking “what next”.
And I get annoyed. I know people
think I am making a big deal out of nothing—I’ve overheard people saying
it. So my feelings then get hurt. I don’t understand how people can
have a
“normal pregnancy”. I am surrounded by
pregnant people right now, and not everyone is having an easy pregnancy,
but I
get jealous that some of my friends are going about their every day life
without a concern, a pain, a contraction or any problems during their
pregnancy. I feel extreme guilt at times
because I simply DO NOT enjoy being pregnant… at all. I feel like I
should. I wish that I did. And I know there are people all around me
that would do anything to be able to get pregnant and carry a healthy
baby to
term, so I feel extreme guilt that I do not enjoy it. So I don’t talk
about my feelings much. It makes me sad, scared, frustrated, and
makes me feel isolated from others. I
talk to Chris, and I talk to my mom, but it is a rare moment when you
see the
tears on my face to anyone else (unless
you happen to be Dr. Kerlin or in the lunchroom one fateful day during
lunch).
But I never lose sight of the fact that I am doing all this
because God has chosen US to be this little girl’s parents. That God will never give us more than we can
handle, and He must think we are able to handle this. This is my last pregnancy so I am doing
everything I can to find the good in this, to remember all of the moments, the
kicks (even if they are to the kidney) and take it in stride. My good friend Amy reminded me in a text message,
“The Lord is on my side; I will not be afraid” (Psalm 118:9) and I am going to
do my best to remind myself of that every time I am sad, mad, or anything other
than happy—because I am not alone, and I don’t need to afraid. All of this is His plan, and things happen in
His time and according to His will.
Maggie
